Dear Me

Friday, December 28, 2012

Dear Blogger,
I've missed you. I've been wanting to share so much with the blogging world, but due to lack of internet (other than on my mobile which is, let's face it, super annoying for anything other than a quick post) I have been unable to share my world with you. This will be ongoing for probably a few more weeks, but knowing Hubs, internet connection will be amongst the top priorities once we move.

Dear Baloo,
You remind me almost every minute (okay, at least every hour) of your presence with your kicks and tumbles in my tummy. I can't tell you how excited I am about meeting you, but don't be in a hurry to arrive, little one. We have a lovely home to prepare for you and our little family and we can't wait to give you "outside cuddles". You are already loved by so many people, and your big brother Chanbe promises to be gentle with you. There is so much I want to know about you, and I truly can't wait to look into your eyes. I'll see you soon.

Dear Chanbe,
My sweet, superstar son. You are an angel and have been so well adjusted in these crazy few weeks. You want such simple things (walk on beach? Fruit?) and have slept through almost every night, even though your routine has been out of wack. There is so much more change to come, but I know you will handle it well. Your resilience makes me a better mama, and I can't wait to see you and Baloo together.

Dear Brisbane,
You have been preparing me for the heat in Townsville. It has been a tough month of heat and humidity, but I do love you and I wonder if we will live here again some time soon. Only time will tell.

Dear Townsville,
Be kind to me when we arrive please. I will be big and you will be hot. Some summer storms will be much appreciated to cool things down and green things up. See what you can do?

Dear Me,
You're almost there, Wifey. You keep saying to yourself "once we are all together in Townsville, I can relax." That will be a reality in a matter of days. This past year has tested you in so many ways, but you have gotten through it with the love and support of family and friends. The last month in particular has thrown some extra curvy balls, but you have hit them back and made a few home runs as a bonus. You rock. Be kind to yourself and your family in the weeks and months to come. There will be time for adjusting and settling in, and as always, you will make it out the other side, stronger than ever.

Dear Hubs,
You are a saint. I love you.

Dear kombi,
Start. For the love of all human kind, please start.

Gimme a break

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Usually at this time of year I'm excited about Christmas. Usually my Christmas cards, which I usually start making in October, are completed and sent out. Usually I love reading our Christmas letter repeatedly, reminiscing over another great year. Usually I have a list of gift ideas for family and friends, many of which have been bought by now. Usually I have planned "too many" social gatherings that leave me happily exhausted at the end of each day.

Usually I'm not 33 weeks pregnant. Usually I'm not in between houses. Usually I'm not running around after my adorable 2 year old. Usually I'm not feeling like it's all too much.

I'm feeling stuck between wanting to put myself and Chanbe and Hubs first, and keeping up with family and friendship commitments. I'm sick of small talk. I want some deep conversations with friends who know me too well.

Do you know what 3 of the most stressful life events are? Moving house (check); starting a new job (check); and having a baby (check).

I don't want sympathy - that doesn't really help. Many people have said they can't imagine doing what we're doing. But we have choices and we made these choices. Somehow it doesn't make it easier.

So here it is: I'm taking this Christmas off. I will be participating in Christmas day activities, and fulfilling commitments I have already made, but there will be no Christmas card mailout this year, which I'm sad about, but if I do it, it has to be done properly otherwise there's no point. Plus, I wrote our Christmas letter and it kind of depressed me. It hasn't been a great year for us in many ways, (and one of our best in other ways!) so I'm ready to move on to bigger and better things.

So instead, I will be doing an early year mailout with a birth announcement (weeeeee!) and news of the year to come. I am finding blogging very therapeutic at the moment, so I thank you for letting me indulge in my feelings here, so I can hopefully get some perspective and notice all the wonderful things around me.

I'm already starting to look forward to Christmas a little bit...

Indulgent much?

Friday, December 7, 2012

I'm currently toddler-free, at Chermside shopping centre, new pair of Italian leather shoes in one hand, mocha chiller in the other hand, on the way to get a pedicure.