Feeling utterly useless

Monday, February 27, 2012

We're home! And that makes me happy.
Chanbe slept all through the night and didn't wake up until 7:15 this morning. That makes me happy too.
Mum is here to help me around the house while my foot is broken. That makes me happy and grateful.

I can't do anything useful that doesn't involve sitting down. That makes me sad. And frustrated.

I like to be doing things. Not all day - I do love my downtime - but to not be able to do my own shopping or washing or cleaning or picking Chanbe up is really hard for me. I know Mum is more than happy to be here to help out, and Hubs has just been a superstar even more so than usual, but it's so hard not being able to do what I want, when I want. I know this is temporary, and I know there are a lot of people in worse situations that are permanent, but that doesn't mean this isn't hard and that I'm not allowed a bit of a whine.

I'm still learning the art of asking for, and accepting help. I'm usually the one wanting to help others. I'm really trying to find the lessons to learn out of this situation. I get my "real" cast on tomorrow which I'm sure will be fun.

My goals for the next 4-6 weeks are:
- to not get lost in self pity
- to enjoy this forced break and make the most of the help that is being generously offered
- to give myself time to heal so as not to tempt a repeat incident
- to catch up on "paperwork"
- to work on my new blog
- to realise that even though things won't get done the same way I would do them, that's okay
- to read books, not just things on the internet

Wish me luck!

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