Friday, March 20, 2009
A HUGE Whine!!
"I can't find you on facebook."
"Why aren't you on facebook?"
"Are you coming to my party? I sent out a facebook invite. Why haven't you replied?"
These are a sample of the questions, comments and near accusations we are regularly subjected to, because we choose not to subscribe to facebook. Now I would consider myself to be a fairly open-minded gal, so I signed up to facebook just under 2 years ago. Then I unsubscribed just over a year ago. Let me tell you why. (If you don't want to read a rant about the evils of facebook, then this is not a blog post for you.)
1. What ever happened to "what happens at the hen's night, stays at the hen's night." Or substitute "hen's night" with any type of gathering where there is drinking and silliness - many Friday nights for some of us! These days it's a case of "what happens at the pub, is sure to be splashed over the pages of facebook 10 hours later." I don't like this. I don't like the feeling of "well I WANT to be silly and get a laugh, but where are the cameras? Who out of these people are likely to ignore common courtesy, not ask for my permission to post photos of me, and share them like crazy in a few hours time?" Answer? Most of these people are in that boat. Which brings me to my next point:
2. I pride myself on the fact that I ask my friend's permission to post photos of them on my blog - a blog that perhaps a dozen people read (I have no idea who reads this thing!!) and a blog where I like to share fun things that Hubs and I have been doing. Whilst a facebooker, I had VERY dodgy photos of myself being put up on other people's pages and being "tagged", and when I asked for them to be taken down, I was told to get a sense of humour. The word "friend" started to lose it's meaning. Which brings me to my next point:
3. What is a "friend"? I don't know about you, but my "friends" are people I have things in common with; whom I share a history with; and who's life journey I would like to be a part of, whether regularly or sporadically. "Friends" are not people I once met through an ex-boyfriend 6 years ago and had a beer with. I don't want to know what they are up to, and I don't want them to know what I'M up to. I know I can choose who I want to be friends with, but after getting friend requests and ignoring a certain person I did NOT want to be "friends" with 3 TIMES, enough was enough.
4. I don't feel that my life is less fulfilling by not knowing what people are doing every second of their lives, (don't even get me STARTED on twitter) nor do I have the need or desire to keep my friends up to date on my daily goings-on. And call me old fashioned, but I like receiving actual invitations to things, even if it's in a group email. At least I feel like the person inviting me has taken the time to think of me. I just find facebook so impersonal.
If facebook is used the right way, for the right reasons, with the right intentions, then I'm fully supportive of this online tool. But generally it's not. Generally it's used to embarass and make fun of people's silly antics. There is no trust and no courtesy. There is no thought as to how the person in the photo will feel.
I know my not having a facebook account isn't going to stop "me" from being on facebook, but what I can't see can't hurt me. So if you love facebook, great! Good for you. No, really - each to their own. But believe me when I say that I'm okay with not being on facebook. It's just everybody else who seems to have a problem with that fact.