"Helpful"
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Throughout my pregnancy and ever since Chance was born, people have shared helpful as well as "helpful" comments with Hubs and I.
The helpful comments are things like:
"You're going to just love being parents."
"Every year it gets better and better."
"You will love this time in your lives. It's so special for you as a family."
These comments from family, friends and strangers really built me up and up and made me even more excited about being a mum.
And then there was the lady on the plane coming home from Brisbane who had a "helpful" comment for me. I was holding Chance as we were looking for our seats and he was crying/whining a little bit and she looked at me and said "Don't worry, it only gets worse."
This really bothered me. Hubs reasoned with me that she was only joking and I know that, but I couldn't work out for a few days why it annoyed me so much. And then I realised, it's because there are many women who struggle with postnatal depression for the first few months of their baby's life and if that lady had made that comment to someone in that fragile state-of-mind, that would have been extremely unhelpful for that new mum. What if she had been thinking "this part is really hard but surely it will get better." No matter how much you reason with yourself, it's hard to fight those demons, and comments like that can really send you crashing.
Plus she's wrong. I know it's just going to get better and better.
(By the way, I have more time to blog now! Hubs set up one of our laptops (we have a few) in the lounge room so I can play with Chance while I blog! Multitasking!!)
Oh gosh, I know. I had so many people tell me while I was pregnant, and even now, that the next stage is the really bad one. I spent so much time being petrified of what was coming- like I just figured out crawling, but I won't handle walking!
Every stage is difficult, and it makes whatever you've done prior easy, but you will be able to do it.
It just makes my comments to pregnant friends/family much more though-out.
Good point Renae! It' so easy to be flippant but words can have a real impact.
Dave