...Hubs knows just what I need. This morning I got a sleep in, and at almost 10 o'clock I was treated to breakfast in bed - poached eggs and bacon on toast with a hint of blue cheese. It's been a pretty tough week which just turned into a great week.
I do so love this man.
I know I've been a bit of a grumpy bum lately around home. I'm just so tired. Chance wakes up every 2 hours (every 3 on a good night and every hour on a bad night) on average and most of the time it's not a huge hassle to get up, but lately I've been wondering what else to try. The problem is, we change his routine so often that he never quite knows what's going on - in Brisbane one week, back home the next, back in Brizzie the week after, back home after that, and next week we'll be in Wang all week. I've tried the tips in the no-cry sleep solution, but one of the things they say is that you really need a block of time (weeks/months) to develop the good sleep habits we're after, and our lifestyle isn't really allowing for that at the moment.
When I tell other mothers that I get up every 2 hours they look at me, horrified and say how sorry they are for me. I reply with some line about how it's not so bad as Chance is happy during the day so I know nothing is wrong, he's just not a great sleeper. And then I go into the "maybe this is my fault" thinking which is every so helpful. "Maybe if I didn't breastfeed him so much he wouldn't be looking for it all the time; Maybe I need to be more diligent with my self-settling techniques." It's just so hard at 12, 2, 4am etc to stick to those techniques when all I want is sleeeeeep.
And the problem is, Hubs doesn't get the best of me. In fact, he probably gets the worst of me. When other people are around, I put on the brave face and suck it in, but when it's just the 2 (3) of us, it's hard not to complain about how tired I am and that I want to go to bed early instead of spending quality time together.
I know I know. This too shall pass. Blah blah blah. I know that Chance will work it out eventually. I just need some way of coping a bit better in the mean time. Chance has his first morning at child care tomorrow, and I plan to take him for 2 mornings a week. Maybe that will help things a bit. I just feel like life is on top of me and I'm never going to get out. I used to be able to do all the housework, pay the bills and make lovely dinners every night, but in the last month since Chance has started moving around a lot more, I'm finding it nearly impossible to keep up. I've had to pay overdue fees for 3 bills because I forgot about them which has almost never happened before.
Hubs told me last night that I can't do everything and that I needed to be a bit kinder to myself. That was hard to hear. I really want to be able to do everything. It especially freaks me out that if it's this hard with 1 baby, what am I going to be like with 7? Okay maybe 5... 3??
My saving grace at the moment is that Chance is having daytime sleeps and if I can get him past the 40min half wake-up he can sleep up to 1.5 to 2 hours. He's been asleep for an hour now, and I know I should be sleeping too, but we have 4 people coming over for dinner, in keeping with my desire to have people over for a meal every week, so I'm cooking beef stew and my favourite orange polenta cake. Plus the washing needs to be done as I didn't get any done yesterday.
If Chance goes down for an afternoon nap, I'll join him too. I promise :-)
And guess who just woke up... :-)
We arrived home on Friday evening and got straight back into hosting friends in our new home! Sian and Warwick came down from Friday night and left Tuesday morning and we had such a great time with them. We hit the snow on Saturday, and I must admit that I was a little hesitant after last time, but this time was truly amazing - I didn't realise taking your (almost) 9 month old to the snow could be such a delight! We rode a couple of the lifts and made our way to the top for lunch. What a view we had! Amazing what you can see when the weather is crystal clear.
Hubs and Chanbe and I have been back in MB since last Friday after being in Brizzie for the week. Nanny's funeral was on Thursday and it was just lovely. We celebrated a life well lived and told stories and shared some tears as well as some laughs. I said a few words and mentioned that I was waiting to be overwhelmed by sadness and emotion but it hadn't happened yet, because I know she had an amazing life and she lived long enough to see her sons grow up into men and have children of their own. She was also around to see her 2 grand-grandchildren, and I reckon that just completed her. Life won't be the same without her, but we have the most amazing memories to cherish for a long time.
Grandpa moved to a nursing home yesterday, so we're hoping he settles in well there.
This is the last video of Nanny and Chance that I filmed, on the 19th of June.
Nanny passed away this morning. The three of us are heading to Brizzie tomorrow for the week.
Goodbye Nanny. You really were something special.
They say it takes a village to raise a child. I feel like I was just getting my "village people" together in Wang, and then we moved. I had my wonderful neighbour June, who doted on Chance as if he were her own grandson. She was always happy to take him for an hour or 2 while I did some housework/had a long shower/popped to the shops etc. This was so helpful and it helped me feel like I wasn't alone, and that I was part of the community. Then there was my mum's group who were always available for a de-brief or a sympathetic ear. Plus Hubs used to come home for lunch sometimes which broke the day up. Plus the weather was actually pretty nice a lot of the time, so going for walks was a pleasure.
I know that it will take time to establish ourselves in our new community, but I want it to happen NOW NOW NOW!! Because we had family and friends staying with us for the first couple of weeks, and then Hubs was still on holidays, and then I spent 2 weeks in Brisbane, this has been our first real week of our new life. And so far it's a little lonely. We've met a couple of the doctors and their families, and I know that it will take (more) effort on my part, and it's just a matter of time before I'll have more to do during the day. Oh, and hopefully the weather will warm up soon! It rained all day yesterday which meant we were at home all day. I kept waiting for it to stop so I could go for a walk, but all of a sudden it was 5pm and time to start dinner.
The other thing that's weighing heavily on my mind is childcare. Why do I feel guilty for wanting/needing to put Chance into care for a couple of half days a week so I can have some time to myself? So I can use that time to get on top of the housework (does that ever happen??) I just need to get over it. I have an appointment at the local childcare centre this afternoon to check it out. I was hoping to find a local family day care but the closest one is in Bright and that's too far to make it worthwhile.
Wish me luck in my village-building!
Although our time in Brisbane was sad, we also had some lovely times with family and friends.
We had a pretty rough night with Chance last night, and he's having a very good nap at the moment. I know I should be too, but there's just too many other fun things to be doing! Like catching up on my Google Reader, reading my emails, and sitting on the couch drinking coffee, enjoying my view.
We all arrived back home to MB late Saturday night (about midnight!) and had a really great relaxing day yesterday in preparation for Hubs' first day at his new position today. We left Brisbane on Friday which was a bit sad, but we had a lovely time visiting, although it was bitter sweet. It was so lovely seeing Hubs again after almost 2 weeks away. We headed over to Nathan and Cal's for dinner and sleepover which was, as always, lovely and relaxing. We had a bit of a sleep in Saturday and after some brekky, headed over to Uncle Wayne and Aunty Alida's for lunch. And boy were we in for a treat!
AA knows how much we love home-made gnocchi, so that's what was on the menu! We were lucky enough to get there while it was all being prepared, so I was able to get some handy hints for my next attempt.
I find it hilarious that when celebrities, or in this case, the Royals, wear something more than once, it's called "recycling". Whereas when us mere mortals do it, it's called... you know... "wearing clothes".
