a Beer, a Whine and The Spirit

Dear Blogger,
I've missed you. I've been wanting to share so much with the blogging world, but due to lack of internet (other than on my mobile which is, let's face it, super annoying for anything other than a quick post) I have been unable to share my world with you. This will be ongoing for probably a few more weeks, but knowing Hubs, internet connection will be amongst the top priorities once we move.

Dear Baloo,
You remind me almost every minute (okay, at least every hour) of your presence with your kicks and tumbles in my tummy. I can't tell you how excited I am about meeting you, but don't be in a hurry to arrive, little one. We have a lovely home to prepare for you and our little family and we can't wait to give you "outside cuddles". You are already loved by so many people, and your big brother Chanbe promises to be gentle with you. There is so much I want to know about you, and I truly can't wait to look into your eyes. I'll see you soon.

Dear Chanbe,
My sweet, superstar son. You are an angel and have been so well adjusted in these crazy few weeks. You want such simple things (walk on beach? Fruit?) and have slept through almost every night, even though your routine has been out of wack. There is so much more change to come, but I know you will handle it well. Your resilience makes me a better mama, and I can't wait to see you and Baloo together.

Dear Brisbane,
You have been preparing me for the heat in Townsville. It has been a tough month of heat and humidity, but I do love you and I wonder if we will live here again some time soon. Only time will tell.

Dear Townsville,
Be kind to me when we arrive please. I will be big and you will be hot. Some summer storms will be much appreciated to cool things down and green things up. See what you can do?

Dear Me,
You're almost there, Wifey. You keep saying to yourself "once we are all together in Townsville, I can relax." That will be a reality in a matter of days. This past year has tested you in so many ways, but you have gotten through it with the love and support of family and friends. The last month in particular has thrown some extra curvy balls, but you have hit them back and made a few home runs as a bonus. You rock. Be kind to yourself and your family in the weeks and months to come. There will be time for adjusting and settling in, and as always, you will make it out the other side, stronger than ever.

Dear Hubs,
You are a saint. I love you.

Dear kombi,
Start. For the love of all human kind, please start.

Posted by Renae at 6:31 PM Comments

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Posted by Renae at 4:09 PM Comments

...gives you gastro?

When I last left you, we had conquered Sydney and were celebrating our victory in Gosford. We got an early start the next morning, hoping to clock up about 500km or so. We had a great run in the morning and decided to push through to our friends place in Kempsey. The cars were running beautifully and we were all in great spirits!

We bid our friends farewell around 3pm, and things went downhill from there. The falcon made it about 2km before it stopped. We tried again, but after the third time, and only a few km down the road, we reviewed our options and decided to ditch the falcon and trailer at our friends place and just keep on going. I jumped in the kombi with Hubs and Mum and Dad went ahead with Chanbe.

This man can drive a van.

We met up for Maccas and fuel in Grafton at around 7pm, and decided to just push on to Brisbane. Mum and Dad took Chanbe ahead and we followed behind.

So we covered 800km in the first 2 and a half days, and then 900km on the last day. It was a long one, and we arrived home at midnight Queensland time (1am "our time") about an hour after Mum and Dad. Chanbe was not ready to go to sleep after such an exciting day and it took another hour or so to settle him, so by 1am Queensland time, everyone was in bed, mostly asleep. Saturday was spent preparing for Chanbe's birthday party on Sunday, while Hubs had some much needed man-time with his man-friends, and I headed out for a hens party which turned out to be just what I needed!

Chanbe's birthday party was a great success and it was lovely to be surrounded by family again. Here's the robot cake I whipped up for him: (actually, I bought a slab of cake and just cut it out and decorated it :-) )

I haven't downloaded any of my photos from my camera as yet, so you'll have to make do with the phone photos for the time being. Monday was a lazy old day, and we caught up briefly with our nieces and nephew and Hubs' sister. I came home feeling a little off colour, and within an hour, I had lost my lunch and was in bed. It came out of nowhere, but wasn't going anywhere! After hourly "attacks" (for want of a better word), by midnight we thought it best I go to hospital, as I was a little worried about Baloo with me getting so dehydrated. So my mother in law took me to the local hospital and I was given some anti-nausea tablets and given 2L of fluid. They took some bloods and did a few other tests, but I was told it was "just" gastro and that I could go home at 4:30am.

So the good news is, we have family and friends around to help out in this tricky time, and hopefully this bad run is over. Hubs has gone down to Kempsey with his BFF today to pick up the car and trailer and I'm expecting him home in the next few hours. Chanbe is having a little grizzle to himself in bed, but will nod off soon, and I'm trying to decide what I actually want to eat, now that I'm feeling a bit better.

Yest it's been a rough week, but whatever doesn't kill you... well, you know the rest :-)

Posted by Renae at 8:19 PM Comments

We did it! We moved out of our house in Wang, had the cleaning etc done, and got outta there in time. We had our last Bead Shop coffee in the morning, and handed over our clown bike to the dear owners.

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I'm not sure how it came about, but when we moved in to this place in April, for some reason I thought we had a whole bush of rosemary growing in our front yard. It didn't look like the rosemary I'm used to, but when I picked some off and smelt it, it smelled familiar and I was convinced it was rosemary. So I started cooking my lamb it in. In the last 6 months, I have perfected a recipe for lamb shanks in my Chasseur and have had people rave about how good they are.

Last week, I was going to make my famous lamb shanks for Mum and Dad and told Dad that there was some rosemary growing in the front yard. He couldn't find any so I went and showed him.

Rosemary it was not. I had, in fact, been cooking with lavender. I couldn't believe it! Dad got some rosemary and I had a smell of the two, side by side, and I swear I could barely tell the difference! What can I say? I make a mean lavender lamb :-)

Posted by Renae at 12:06 PM Comments

My list of things I don't need right now:
- Chanbe had a temperature last night and was generally miserable, so neither of us got any sleep. Barely keeping my eyes open right now.
- An obstetrician at the hospital has ordered another glucose test to rule out gestational diabetes, even though the first one I had came back clear. The test takes 2.5 hours and you have to drink this disgusting sugar drink and get blood taken 3 times. Cos I have so much time to spare right now.
- I have a rash on my neck that has come out of nowhere and is itchy.
- I'm still getting pains in my guts that stop me in my tracks and force me to lie down.

To do:
- Keep packing boxes. (just keep packing, just keep packing)
- Attend my last mother's group tomorrow (heartbreaking)
- Pick up trailer from Albury
- Buy a sexy dress for the Rural Clinical School graduation dinner on Saturday night in Ballarat
- Plan Chanbe's 2nd birthday party

Up until yesterday I was feeling like I was being productive and really getting stuff done. Today, I'm yet to achieve anything and just want to go back to bed. Maybe I should do just that and try and have a productive afternoon and evening. Hubs get back tomorrow evening after his boys camping trip (he's having a great time) which will take the pressure off somewhat.

This time next week we'll be on the road. So much to do before then...

Random photo for your viewing pleasure.

Posted by Renae at 11:59 AM Comments

Hubs and I were able to head out to dinner on Saturday night, just the 2 of us, and we both agree that it was one of the nicest meals out we have had in a very long time. We went to the Watermarc restaurant in Wangaratta - we hadn't been there before but had heard good things about it. We arrived around 7pm and sat at a table outside, along the river. We really wanted to take our time and make the evening last, so we ordered some wine and started off with some oysters kilpatrick. They were fantastic - a great start to a delightful culinary experience. We then ordered 2 more entrees - a margarita pizza and soft-shelled crab. Our theory is that if a place can simple things well, they are onto something. The margarita pizza was delicious and the soft-shelled crab, delightful.

We then went for 2 more entrees to share - house made fettuccine with calamari ragu (yes, we love seafood) and the house made gnocchi with pumpkin and shredded boccocini. Scrumptious! We then went for the jugular and ordered dessert. I had the vanilla creme brulee and Hubs had the Affogato with Frangelico which looked something like this:

Posted by Renae at 2:14 PM Comments

As I knew it would be, the last week has been huge, and today is the first day I've had more than 10 minutes to sit down and play on the computer. Sunday was a glorious day and we had a lovely walk to Paradise Falls, followed by lunch at Dal Zotto winery. It was such a lovely day with lovely friends, though I was having some annoying pains in my stomach that wouldn't go away. I was pretty certain it was ligament pain and it eventually subsided in the evening so I wasn't too concerned. Monday night we had a crowd over for dinner and Revenge and both left us wanting more. Tuesday we dolled up and headed to the races, and, as usual, Chanbe stole the show:

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Since we gave plenty of notice of our intention to leave this house, we have already had 6 lots of people come through with the real estate agent to inspect the house. We are not breaking our lease - I signed up until the 17th of November - so I just thought I would be extra nice and give over 2 months notice, so they could find new people to rent the house.

As I have mentioned, I don't generally keep our house in a particularly tidy state, mainly because, since we moved in in April, we never fully unpacked and a lot of our stuff has never had a "place" so often I don't even bother trying. For the inspections, however, I have always made sure things are relatively tidy, vacuuming done, and kitchen spotless. We have been excellent tenants, in my opinion, so today's inspection left me feeling quite deflated.

I've just started feeling okay with our huge move coming up - we've sold a couple of things, have interest in a couple of other things, and designated a lot of stuff to give away. I have picked up some packing boxes, and have already filled several bags for the op-shop. After showing the prospective tenants around, the real estate agent came back to where I was on the computer, gave me a look, and said "So, you're still right for your vacating date? I noticed the back garden is getting out of hand. Are you getting someone in to professionally clean it up?"

"Ummmm... yes?"

"Have you got the checklist that you need to complete before you vacate? Are you still okay with the date you're leaving?"

"Ummmm... yes?

And it went on like this for a bit longer.

Seriously. I'd just started feeling okay. And now, not so much. Maybe she was just doing her job. Maybe she thought she was being helpful. (And maybe I made a face at her as she walked out the door.) But if she had known the crazy life we have lived in the last year, she would have BACKED OFF. I do NOT need that kind of "help" and yes, moving house is a big job, but I know it will work out. You know how I know? Not just because we've done it 4 times in the last 4 years, but because it has to work out. There is no other option.

So excuse me for letting the gardens get "out of hand." I've had other things on my mind thank-you-very-much.

Posted by Renae at 1:06 PM Comments

Did I mention that Chance had a rash? No? It started 2 weeks ago as little pimply patches on his shoulders and was diagnosed as "post viral". When you go to the doctor and you get a diagnosis, you believe them, right? I had heard that there had been a case of school sores reported at his childcare centre, but the doctor ensured me it wasn't that. So I went on my merry way with my not-so-well little boy and had a fitful night sleep on Tuesday. On Wednesday morning, the rash had gotten worse and it had spread. 

But I had been told it was post-viral, and that it should get better within a week. My instincts were telling me otherwise, but I was trying not to overreact. Plus, Chanbe was fine. No fever, no fuss, so we went about our day. Though, I avoided contact with kids in case his "virus" was still contagious, as per the doctors orders. By Wednesday night, I was starting to wonder, and after another sleepless night, and a worsened rash on Thursday morning, I booked him back in to the doctor.

The look on her face when she saw him made me so upset and angry. Definitely school sores. The rash was all over his shoulders and arms, and covered his legs and butt, and it was no longer pimply, but red and angry. I was given the antibiotics script and assured that we would be okay to fly to Brisbane the next day. When I got into the car, I burst into tears. I knew there was more to it, and had the doctor said at the first visit "if it gets worse, bring him back" I would have been back on Wednesday. I felt so guilty and horrible. Just thinking about it now makes me feel ill.

So Friday we set off for Brisbane on our 10 hour trip, and on Saturday morning, I was overcome with "the rash should be getting better. Why isn't it getting better???" There were going to be other kids at the party and I was paranoid about them getting sick too, and after a couple of outsiders looked in, I insisted we take Chanbe to the Emergency Department at the Hospital. It was 10:45am when we got there. For the next hour or two, I was either crying or about to cry. We got in to see at doctor at 12:15pm, but he was called away 5 minutes later and never came back so we had to wait some more. At 1:15pm we saw another doctor who stuck around, looked at the rash and scratched her head. "Not a typical case of school sores. I'd like to run some tests and call my boss to have a look."

The party had already started, and I was told to go along as there was no point in all of us missing out. I felt SO guilty for leaving Hubs there, especially since he was pretty sure it was going to be the same diagnosis as before, but he insisted. So after arriving at the party, having a cry with Mum, and getting hugs from my gorgeous family, I settled down somewhat. This was the third lot of guilt I felt - for not having Mum's only grandchild at her 60th birthday party. Of course she understood, but I felt awful.

At one stage I got a text from Hubs to say that the big Dr was thinking it might be chicken pox, infected with staph. More tears. I left the party around 5pm when it was wrapping up and went to see my boys. They were doing great, under the circumstances. I kept apologising to Hubs and he kept telling me it was okay. Chanbe was an absolute trooper, playing with a balloon I had left him, and watching YouTube on Dadda's phone. The Paediatrician came in around 6pm and said it was not a typical case of anything, and the best they could determine was that it was school sores, but they weren't responding to the treatment. They changed his antibiotics and sent us home just before 7pm.

We took our little Chanbe home and he was fast asleep in no time. The rash started clearing up over the next couple of days, but it is still there, 2 weeks later. So now I feel like I don't want to send him back to ChildCare in case he gets sick again. An irrational fear, yes, but one that I have to get over in my own time. The lesson I learned is to trust my gut. Even if I get told the same thing, I won't be left wondering.

Posted by Renae at 2:55 PM Comments

The weekend before last was supposed to look like this: Arrive in Brisbane at 7pm Friday, have dinner with the parents, sleep, wake up, attend Mum's 60th birthday party Saturday lunch time, have a leisurely brekky with Hubs Sunday, drop him off at the airport, and relax.

What actually happened, was this: We left Wang at 12:30pm Friday for our 6pm flight from Melbourne. We wanted to leave plenty of time as the Melbourne Ring Road can come to a standstill and can delay you for a hour if there is an accident (that happened to me one time with Chanbe in the car) and we had to drop our car off at long-term parking and catch a shuttle. And we were travelling with a 2 year old. Chanbe didn't sleep the whole car trip which was weird and a little concerning, but nonetheless, we arrived at the parking at 3:30 and were at the airport at 4. After almost being able to get on the 5pm flight instead, and our hopes being dashed, our boarding time was 5:30.

By the time we grabbed sushi for Chanbe and Hubs and got through security, we had an hour to kill, so Hubs mostly looked after Chanbe and took him for long walks up and down the terminal. He was so well behaved! And so was Chance!! :-) We got word that the flight was delayed 20 minutes, so we kept pacing. Then it was delayed another 20 minutes, and we didn't end up boarding until 6:30, and the flight left close to 7pm. Not fun. But still, Chanbe was a dream. Not long after takeoff, he was asleep in my arms while Hubs and I did the inflight magazing quiz.

We arrived close to Brisbane when the captain informed us that we were to be put in a holding pattern, delaying us by another half an hour. Grumble grumble. We FINALLY landed at 8:40pm local time, 9:40pm Victoria time, and we had the pleasure pain of experiencing Brisbane's new Pick Up Zone. It sucked. Big time. After his little nap, Chance was again happy as can be. I, however, was whingy and whiney and wanted to sulk. After doing a sneaky avoiding-the-pick-up-zone pickup, we got to Mum and Dad's at 9:30pm local time; 10:30pm Victoria time. And Chanbe didn't go to sleep for another hour because it was time to play with Gran and Grumpy.

And the worst was yet to come....

Posted by Renae at 2:53 PM Comments

Today has been a good day. I heard Chanbe stir at 5:45am this morning, but then he went back to sleep for another hour and was ready to get up as Hubs was getting ready for work around 6:45am. He was in a good mood, and so was I! We said goodbye to Hubs and had brekky together and then had a lovely play before going for a walk. He then went down for a nap around midday, after lunch, and I thought I'd have a little lie down 2. My alarm went off after an hour, then an hour and a half, and then after 2 hours I felt rested. Chanbe is still asleep, 2.5 hours later! Which means he'll wake up happy and we'll have a lovely afternoon together.

Last week in Townsville was hard work, but it was a very successful trip. My main reasons for going were to get a feel for the town and look at some houses in the areas we are keen on. I looked at 14 houses for sale (yes! We're getting all responsible and grown up!!!) and there were 3 that I/my support crew felt would be a good investment. You see, we're only going to be living there for a year or 2, then we want to rent it out indefinitely. We are currently in negotiations about one of the houses, but I've started having some doubts about it so we'll see how things progress over the next few days.

We had such a great week up there, Mum, Chance and myself. We stayed with family friends who are around my age and who have a 5 year old girl and 3 year old boy and the kids had a nice time playing. Chance was an absolute dream and had a great week with his Gran looking after him while I raced around (drove sensibly) looking at houses. It was hard without Hubs there - he had to work - but we might make another mad dash up in November/December before we move there for good at the end of December.

Only 4 and a half weeks until we move, and I'm trying my hardest to get things organised. Mum and Dad get here in just over 2 weeks, so it will help having them around. In 2 and a bit months time, we'll be in Townsville. Hard to imagine...

Posted by Renae at 2:40 PM Comments

We're off to Townsville in a couple of hours, and I just wanted to give you a heads up on what's been going on! Well, actually, I want to give you a teaser of posts to come. Like how it took us 10 hours to get from Wang to Brisbane on Thursday; and how, instead of going to Mum's 60th, Hubs spent 8 hours in the Redcliffe Emergency Department with Chanbe on Saturday (he's fine); and how I felt mothers guilt, wifeys guilt and daughters guilt, all in the same day!

So, lots to come when I have a moment. In the mean time, I have a few houses to look at in Townsville! Exciting!

Posted by Renae at 11:19 AM Comments

1. I take my seatbelt off when I'm reversing the car

2. I subconsciously count things in my head all day long (steps, words, whatever)

3. I can't keep my own secrets

4. I'm not as organised as everyone thinks I am (maybe I should keep that a secret!)

5. I do not keep a particularly tidy or ordered house - this is a big thing for me that I really want to work on in our new house next year

6. I seek out reverse parallel parks - I freakin' love them (and am totally awesome at them. Seatbelt off.)

7. I feel guilty every time I drop Chanbe off at childcare

8. I don't put sugar in my tea or coffee (hey, they can't all be winners!)

9. When I was a kid (and up until I was 19) I wanted to be either a childcare worker or a teacher. (So glad that didn't happen - I think I would make a terrible teacher)

10. I eat my dinner fast because I don't like it to get cold. I hate eating cold food.


Nothing earth-shattering, but maybe you know more about me today than you did yesterday :-)

Posted by Renae at 12:30 PM Comments

This week has been a nightmare a shocker challenging on many levels.

Level 1 - Chanbe has been waking up at 5:30am. Shocker. Hubs and I are NOT morning people, and an early morning for us is 7am. 5:30? Not cool. I am hoping it's just a phase, though, with daylight savings starting this weekend, and us going to Queensland for a week from next Friday, I feel there will be a few weeks of disrupted sleep. Oh, and the whole moving interstate thing in 6 weeks time - yeah, that's going to be completely hassle-free!

Level 2 - Even though Chanbe is still 7 weeks away from his 2nd birthday, I feel he has already turned a corner into the "terrible twos". I really hate that expression though, because you're just really setting yourself for disaster. I prefer to use our friend's expression, the "terrific twos". I like the positivity that implies, and even though some days may be terrible, I like to think there is more terrific involved in this age group. Plus I think Chanbe is pretty darn terrific :-)

Level 3 - Hormones hormones hormones. I have been super emotional and a bit of a mess for a few days now, and the tears have flowed on more than one occasion. Not only this, but with all the relaxin floating around my body, my muscles have been particularly achy lately, and I've had sciatica pain and pregnancy-related tennis elbow. Have you ever had tennis elbow? It is not a pleasant experience, especially when you can't take anti-inflammatories for it.

So all in all, these things have made for a very cranky Wifey. Thankfully, I have a very awesome Hubsband who has been taking extra special care of me this week. I cannot tell you how much he has saved me these last few days, and it just makes me feel so grateful that I have found a partner who will always do whatever he can to make my life happier. And today, I am happier. Which is good, since I'll be solo parenting again tomorrow. Wish me luck!

Posted by Renae at 5:39 PM Comments

Anyone remember that song from their childhood? No? Just me? Oh well. I had it playing in my head one sunny afternoon last week when we were invited to our friend's farm to visit some baby goats. When I say baby goats, I mean baby goats. 4 of them were less than 24 hours old! I cannot tell you how much I love living in the country. I mean, where else would you get a phone call on a Wednesday afternoon, inviting you to give baby goats a cuddle and a pat?

Posted by Renae at 9:12 AM Comments

We are currently spending as much time outside, when the weather permits. It's finally nice enough to pick flowers:

Posted by Renae at 8:47 PM Comments

No, mousse, not moose. (Weirdo.) And I'm not talking about the kind of velvety, light, fluffy mousse that would normally appear in this household on a whim of my Hubs. I'm talking about the kind of mousse that you ruin because you overcook the custard, and it becomes hard and thick and gluggy. Delicious, but not quite right. That kind of mousse. Hubs' solution? Well, Hubs' solution to most of life's problems: dip it in chocolate! (Life can get messy around here!)

Posted by Renae at 1:04 PM Comments

I've just named #2, Baloo. I'm not sure why - I have no real attachment to The Jungle Book, but it just felt right when it popped into my head today. We call Chanbe "Boo" a lot, so now I have a Boo and a Baloo.

Some things just feel right, you know?

Posted by Renae at 8:33 PM Comments

I used to really love talking on the phone. Then I became an adult, and now 80% of my talk time is with people I'd rather not be talking to. These people are not my family, or my friends. They are customer service (I use the term loosely) representatives and I'm sick of them. I know I can do most of my business on line, which I do, but there are some things that need to be discussed, and it leaves me reeling.

I've just spent an hour and a half of my precious "Chanbe asleep time" on the phone to 4 different organisations for various reasons, and now I'm feeling like nothing has been achieved. Yeuch. I sometimes get sick of being an adult, and all the responsibilities that come with it. I'm sick of dealing with Centrelink and credit card companies and and and...

And I'm very lucky that I am able to make a phone call and sort something out so "easily" most of the time. Hmph. Must be Monday.

On a different note, I tried to take Chanbe swimming at the local pool (indoor) this morning, and he would not have a bar of it! He got as far as ankle-deep with me right by his side, and just stood there, crying, saying "no? no? no?" in the very cute way he does. No amount of splashing or encouragement would change his mind. You know what this means? I'm going to have to go in with him. Time to psych myself up for t-o-g-s!

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Posted by Renae at 7:39 PM Comments

Today is Sunday, the start of a new week. Thank goodness. We've had a bit of a rough time with Chanbe this week, with 8 sleepless nights in a row, a trip to emergency on Tuesday, and a general out-of-routine feeling for all. Each night from Thursday week ago, I kept thinking "this has to be the worst of it. Tomorrow he'll feel better and tomorrow night we will sleep." This didn't happen until the following Thursday - his (and our) first full night sleep in a week. Every other night, he spent a solid 3 hours coughing, and the rest of the night thrashing around in our bed. It's so hard to see your child unwell and not be able to do anything about it. I had taken him to the doctor twice, and was told that it was just "post-viral". I'm not doubting the diagnosis, but that cough was just so horrible, and by Tuesday, I felt like something needed to be done, so we went off to the hospital in the hopes of seeing a pediatrician.

We were given some medication to hopefully help, and sent home with a bit of hope. The next 2 days and nights were still no good, but by Thursday afternoon, he had started to settle down a bit (which probably would have happened without the meds, really). Thursday night was bliss, and Friday he had a great day at childcare while I raced around to appointments I had postponed from Tuesday, including my 20week scan for baby number 2. I know, a really original name. Any suggestions? Hubs just suggested "second Chance" :-) Anyway, that scan went wonderfully well and (insert cute baby nick-name here) is growing beautifully. I'm glad I didn't wear mascara as I got rather teary watching this little person on the screen for an hour. So amazing how much you can see in those scans. (And no, we are not finding out the sex.)

And yesterday ended our rough week beautifully, as we had a dozen people over for a BBQ and it was fantastic. The weather was BRILLIANT!!!!!! Friday? 13 degrees max, windy, overcast and miserable? Today? Overcast but warm. But yesterday? Absolute bliss - up to 22 degrees and sunny with no clouds and no wind. T-shirts and boardies weather my friends. Hubs gave me a big sleep in today (he's the best) and a cooked brekky when I dragged myself out of bed at 9am (again, the best) and we are now just lazing around, doing a bit of tidying up, and just enjoying a quiet Sunday at home.

I feel it's going to be a gooooood week!

Posted by Renae at 12:43 PM Comments

It took quite a while for us to get Chanbe into some semblance of a routine around his sleeping habits. As I've mentioned before, the first year of Chanbe's life was filled with constant battles around bedtime, and 2-3 hourly wake-ups every night until he was just over 1 year old. We worked very hard to make his bedtime a more enjoyable experience, and by March this year, we were at the stage where we could say "ni-night" or "nap time", give him a kiss and cuddle, put him in his cot, and walk out of the room. We would hear noises sometimes but they were joyful noises of our son being content, talking himself to sleep.

It was bliss. Correction. It is bliss. For the last week, the little guy has not been 100%, with temperatures and general crankiness around the clock. And the last 3 nights, he has not wanted to go to sleep in his own bed. No matter what we did, no amount of encouragement would persuade him otherwise. So he has been sleeping with us. And I use the term "sleeping" very loosely. He's been sleeping okay, but we haven't. And I don't want this to continue. I don't want this to become a habit. I don't want all of our hard work to go down the drain. I don't want to go back to the nightly battles.

I know that when he is unwell, we have to make some allowances, but when you're in the moment - when he's been crying screaming for half an hour every time you leave him in his cot; when I'm in tears because I feel like he's never going to sleep again; when Hubs has to take him for an hour long walk to get him to sleep just a little bit (which we haven't done in I don't know how long) - it's hard to get perspective. I know that he's out of his routine, but I also know that it's not the end of the world. I know that once he starts to feel better, he'll be happier in his own cot. I just don't know how long that will take him. And I have to be okay with that. I need to let go just a little bit. Deeeeeeep breaths Wifey, deep breaths.

Chanbe in a happier mood. Actually, this was at lunch time today. It's not all bad :-)

Posted by Renae at 6:27 PM Comments

There. I said it. You know what I do like? The idea of yoga. I love the thought of stretching and feeling calm, relaxed and focussed, which are three things I rarely allow myself to feel, particularly all at once. Hubs and I did a 10 week yoga course 2 years ago, when I was pregnant with Chanbe, and we actually quite liked it. I liked the instructor - she wasn't too hippy - and I really felt my flexibility improving, even though each week the moves would become a little more awkward.

But my friend invited me along to a yoga class the other night and I thought "why not!?" Why not? Where to do I start? The class went from 6:15-8:00pm, which you might think is great! I really got my money's worth, right? Wellllllllll. Not exactly. The first 45 minutes we did 3 different yoga "sequences", 2 of which the instructor didn't want me doing because I'm pregnant. There are 2 of us in the class who are pregnant, and she didn't offer any real alternative, other than "stand up and breathe while lifting your arms up and down." In my class 2 years ago, the instructor would always have an "alternative routine" for me, and anyone who wanted, to do, which I really appreciated. It made me feel like I was still a part of the class instead of "the big pregnant lady who can't do downward facing dog."

So that was the first 45 minutes. And what did we do for the next hour? We breathed. We sensed the air flowing through our nostrils and into our lungs. The 2 pregnant ladies were told to "feel the air make its way down to your womb, where your baby is growing." For an hour. Some of you may think this sounds amazing, but all I could think about was "I paid money for someone to talk to me about my nostrils??" Clearly, I missed the point of it all. Or rather, I get the point (dedicating time in your life to be still and present and focussed) but I just don't enjoy it.

I've gotten to a stage in my life where I don't feel like I have to pretend to like something because it's good for me, or it's cultural (like arthouse movies - BORING!) so I'm sticking with I don't like yoga. At least for now.

Posted by Renae at 9:47 AM Comments

Thank you for your suggestions for my baker's block last week! There are a few recipes that I will be trying, maybe even today! I ended up going with this chocolate sponge cake recipe. I had never made a sponge cake before, and apparently duck eggs are the bees knees for sponges. Something simple that I could jazz up. The idea was to make a "slab" and cut squares and put cream and strawberries on top. Which I did.  So I went to work, starting off with these beauties.

 

 

Posted by Renae at 10:01 AM Comments

I've lost my baking mojo. I used to get so excited about finding new recipes and choosing which one to try that week, or going back to old favourites. But lately, the thought of baking makes me feel ho-hum. It could be the constant distraction I know I'd get from Chanbe, but maybe I just need some new inspiration. I've poured over 3 recipe books, as well as my folder of loose recipes that I've printed out over the years, and nothing is exciting me that much.

And the reason I want to be excited about baking is, not only do I have mum's group this arvo that I'd like to take something along to, but we are also having people over for dinner tonight (more med students). They are bringing the main course and I said I'd do nibblies and dessert. And I'm kind of known around the med student traps for my baking, particularly chocolate-filled baking, so you know, no pressure or anything. So I'd really like to make something that would suit both occasions. Oh, and I've been given 10 fresh duck eggs from our friend's farm, and duck eggs are supposed to be great to bake with.

A couple that have somewhat tickled my fancy are:

1. Chocolate orange tea bread (a new recipe to me - it just sounds a bit boring, but it does make 2 "loaves" which would be helpful)
2. Rolled sugar cookies (an old favourite but VERY time consuming)
3. Some sort of chocolate sponge cake.

Help?????

Posted by Renae at 9:32 AM Comments

We've been back home (in Wang, just in case you get confused about where we live. I know I do...) for a week now, and we're slowly getting back into our little groove. Life is just looking up and up at the moment, and is continuing that trend which is unbelievably good for my soul. This is what I have spent the last solid half hour enjoying:

Posted by Renae at 1:21 PM Comments

(Quick update: We're back home in Wang! Woo!! It's cold and rainy. Boo.)

For the better part of the last year, I have been getting around to updating/upgrading/overhauling my blog. I have considered, a number of times, outsourcing this job to someone who has a clue, but then my stubbornness (read: poverty) gets the better of me and I figure, "it can't be that hard!" So I started playing around with a few ideas and in January, recruited my friend who is a graphic designer, to help me with my masthead, as graphic design is definitely something I have no idea about. And now that that's done, I've changed my mind about the name, which means more work to be done that I can't really do. Ooops. Plus I had to decide on who to host my domain name with (I don't even know if I'm saying this right, let alone doing it right!!) which Hubs helped me with. We set that up today.

And now there's lots of fiddly things to do that I'm trying to learn how to do. The thing is, I never used to be this useless. I used to know how to do things like edit photos, resize them and send them to people, and use programs like publisher, and I even did some intranet page designing in one of my jobs, but we don't have mainstream software (we use open source software) and I've really lost a lot of my skills, as I just don't practice often enough. Another problem is that we don't have a designated computer space that's ready to go at all times; ready for photos to be downloaded; ready for photos to be printed; ready for me to just sit down and get my sh*t sorted.

And I feel like the internet/blogging world is leaving me behind. It makes me sad. I feel like I have all this potential, but I'm treading water, waiting for all my ducks to line up before taking the next stop. The problem is, the ducks are in very real danger of getting run over as they sit in the middle of the road, waiting.

But today we set up the domain name. I'm hoping to do some tweaking on my masthead, and am hoping to be up and running in the next few weeks. If you have any tips for wordpress (where I'm moving my blog to) or having a .com, I'm all ears. I just keep thinking "surely it shouldn't be this hard!!!!"

Posted by Renae at 8:50 PM Comments

Posted by Renae at 11:55 PM Comments

(I've been meaning to type this post for a couple of weeks!)

When Hubs was visiting us from Melbourne, we took the opportunity to go out to dinner. Just the 2 of us. Being around the Redcliffe area, we weren't exactly spoiled for choice with places to dine on a Thursday night, so I jumped on to Google to see what I could see. Ahem. Not much. Then I mentioned the "R" word.

Ribs.

Hubs was suddenly a man possessed. It had to be ribs. And what restaurant was the most likely source of ribs? Hogs Breath Cafe. We weren't overly enthused to be honest - it wasn't really my idea of a romantic night out! But without any great alternatives, Hogs is had to be.

We arrived and were seated outside in a little, ah hell, let's call it "romantic" corner, and a few minutes later our drinks order was taken. We weren't ready to order yet so our waitress said she'd be back soon. Our drinks were brought out by a different waitress who promptly left us, so we just sat and drank and chatted for a while. After a little while, I said to Hubs "I think they've forgotten about us."

This triggered a series of "events" that really showed me that a) I need to relax and not be so concerned about time and what "should" be happening, and b) how different Hubs and I are when it comes to time and what "should" be happening. Hubs just kept saying "what's the rush? Do you have to be somewhere? Am I not interesting enough for you? They haven't forgotten about us. They'll be here." to which I replied "I'm not in a rush, I'm just saying, they've forgotten about us!" This went on for a while, and I said to Hubs that all I wanted was acknowledgement that they'd forgotten about us, and I'd relax. We made a deal that if the next table, who had arrived after us, got their food, I got to wave down a different waitress (ours was nowhere to be seen!)

Sure enough, 40 minutes later, we had not ordered so I was allowed to flag someone down. Turns out they had forgotten about us, and because of that, we got dessert on the house! So even though I was right, Hubs was also right about me not needing to be in a hurry all the time, and sometimes things don't go the way I plan, but they work out okay in the end - free profiteroles!

Oh, and the ribs were really disappointing!!

Posted by Renae at 7:17 AM Comments

We found out this week where Hubs, and therefore we, will be spending next year. And the winner... is...

TOWNSVILLE!!!

We are really very happy with that placement. Even though we would have liked Cairns as our first choice, there were no positions left after the first round offers all went to Queensland med students, but once we considered Townsville as a possibility, we decided we would be very happy there as well. We have family and friends up there and when I told them the news, they were very excited which was a lovely feeling.

Hubs finishes up medicine (woo!!) in early November, and we're planning on moving up not long after that. The hospital is providing some moving assistance and accommodation while we look for somewhere to live which will be very helpful indeed. I've already started looking at houses up there and am really enjoying making plans,which is something we haven't been able to do for quite a long time.

I'm feeling really great about the move, and am glad we can get up there and settle in before Christmas, and set ourselves up before the baby is due at the end of January.

So here we are. We have an answer to our big question, we have plans to make, and time to dream about what adventures next year will bring for our family.

Posted by Renae at 3:57 PM Comments

A couple of my very talented friends invited me to the Brisbane Jazz Club Sunday week ago to hear them perform with some of their very talented friends. Among other things, there was a grand piano that was very grand; a lovely lass with an angelic voice; a saxophone with some deep tones; a cheeky bass; and 3 ukeleles played by 3 lovely ladies. And it was just lovely. Song after song, I was humming along. (Yes, I meant that.) They played 3 sets that were all very different from each other, and really kept the whole crowd entertained.

But the highlight for me was the 3 lovely ladies playing this song on their ukeleles, though it sounded (and looked) a little different!

Posted by Renae at 9:18 PM Comments

Well said.

Posted by Renae at 4:34 PM Comments

I've been watching the Olympics a lot the last week. Not as much as I would like as I value my sleep, but I've been getting in some great couch time. I've so far been quite impressed with Channel Nine's coverage - they say what is coming up and they actually show that event, unlike Channel Seven's debacle in Beijing! I'm not even minding the ridiculous number of replays of the same races over and over again. My only issue with the whole coverage is the interviewing. The number of interviews are fine, and the quality of the questions are generally pretty good, except one question.

"So, can you tell us what went wrong?"

What does that even mean? Why is there an implication that something actually did go wrong? As my Mum says, not everyone can win. And it's okay not to get the gold. Sometimes a person does the best they can, or maybe they feel like they could have done better, but suggesting that something went wrong is such a cop-out. What answer are they expecting?

"Well I got a massive wedgie at the halfway mark and was so distracted I couldn't concentrate on what I was doing."

It's not a question that needs to be asked as there is most likely no answer, and I imagine it would just make the athlete feel like they weren't good enough. Like losing needs to be justified, or someone/something needs to be blamed for their "loss" instead of "well the person who beat me ran/swam/rowed/dove/kayaked better than me today."

Oh, and another one I just heard:
"If you had your time again, what would you do?
Answer: "I wouldn't do this interview."

Posted by Renae at 8:00 AM Comments

... I wrote this post. This post was about changing a few things in my life that I felt were holding me back and getting me down. I had a good attitude and was motivated to make those changes.

2 weeks later, I broke my foot, and everything kind of turned to crap. I couldn't exercise, and I continued chewing my nails out of frustration and anxiety. The good news is, my hair is getting nice and long (which means I want to cut it off again!!!) and one of the "other things" that I was hoping would happen was that I'd be pregnant, which I am. The faith thing is still somewhere in the middle, but I'm getting there.

The only thing that I feel is still really keeping me in limbo, is not knowing where we'll be next year, but as I mentioned, we'll know that very soon.

I know I'm definitely in a better place with how I feel about my body, especially now that I'm in my second trimester. I feel stronger and (ever so slightly) fitter, and know that the more exercise I can fit in, in the next 6 months, the better my pregnancy and recovery will. I know it will also help me to prepare for our new life next year - the move, the baby, the settling in - our life certainly is never dull!

So. That was my last 6 months. Let's see what the next 6 months has to offer!

Posted by Renae at 2:33 PM Comments

Something awoke me at 4:17am this morning. Was it Chanbe? I don't think so. Was it the possum that lives in the roof? Perhaps? Or was it my subconscious telling me that the Olympics were on TV and that I should take my doona out to the couch and watch some coverage? Yeah, I think that was it.

I don't know if I've mentioned it before, but I LOVE the Olympics. When I heard that Sydney was getting the 2000 Olympics, I knew I had to be there. I volunteered at the hockey and had the most amazing time, both at the hockey (we got to see a lot of games) as well as other events. In 2008, we had just moved to Melbourne, and I scored a temp job in the Channel 7 call centre, and got to see a lot of the coverage. I actually have a friend competing over in London in the swimming (go Brenton Rickard!!!) who did really well in Beijing (2 silver medals) and made it into the final of his first event in London, (100m breaststroke) which I watched at 5:10am this morning. (He came 6th, with team mate Christian Sprenger doing a great job getting the silver medal. Brenton's world record that he'd held for 3 years also fell this morning.)

I just get so nervous and excited for all the athletes competing and wish we had foxtel so I could watch whatever I wanted. I'd love to see more hockey in particular, but that is up to the powers that be at Channel 9. So I watched over 4 hours of coverage this morning, (mostly swimming) and had my morning sleep after that. Hee hee! This whole staying-with-my-parents-so-I-can-watch-the-olympics-while-they-babysit thing is sweeeeeeeet!

Oh, and Hubs is coming up for a visit in a few days which will be really lovely. It's going to be a great couple of weeks!

Posted by Renae at 2:12 PM Comments